The Crunchy Fry

Why is it that the biggest seller at any fast food restaurant, is always the coldest & soggiest item on the menu? Why do these huge chains fight over something I can get in a 20lb. bag at the grocery store for 5 bucks? The answer is the profit margin on them is so incredibly high, it would be stupid to NOT fight over them.

I introduce the Fast Food Guru Top Ten French Fry's! A good rule of thumb, unless you like soggy fries, is that if they make a good onion ring, their fries are also excellent. The secret is in the grease, as in the grease they cook their fries in. Fries + Grease + Time = good fries.


Honorable mention (Good): Heart Attack Grill : I've never been here so they didn't make the top ten, but I've seen the YouTube videos, and looked at the picture of the Burger & Fries like a adolesent boy at his first playboy. This Fry is created by hot vixens, cut on premises of the resturant, and cooked in straight up lard. ANYPLACE that lets anyone over 350lbs. eat for free is worthy of flavor.

Honorable mention (bad): Wendy's: Here's what I don't get. Wendy's International is owned by Arby's parent company, yet Arby's doesn't have the problems that Wendy's does in the fry dept. Wendy's fries are mostly cold, over salty, and very soggy. They are also sometimes under cooked. Before Dave Thomas died, Wendy's was on the top of their game, but corporate america has watered down (literally) the quality.

10. McDonald's: There fries will always stay at number 10. I'll post within the next few weeks why. The irony is that both McDonald's & Burger King BOTH fight for the title 'worlds best fry' and they only win, because of the volume of fries they sale, not the quality. funny how they are really soggy, salty, and usually cold.
9. Burger King: As long as they never clean their grease traps, these fries have excellent flavor, because they cook everything in that grease. How to identify a good Burger King fry; black specks of stuff on your fry. No, it's not pepper, it's extremely over used grease.
8. Anything Crinkle-Cut or Cross Cut. Carl's Jr. has a good cross-cut fry, and Del Taco has a decent crinkle-cut fry. Both are good fries, and both easily beat out BK & McD's in quality. The crinkle-cut tends to be soggier, because the teenager behind the counter (and the franchise for that matter) doesn't realise that the thicker the fry, the longer you have to cook it.
7. Hires Big H Fries: They are good, but I really don't have anything witty to say about them, sorry.
6. Arbys Curly fries: They are crunchy (usually) and have a little kick to them as well.
5. Training Table Cheese fries: Their fries suck, but adding God's gift to the lactose tolerant to the top of the pile makes them noteworthy. Add some ultimate dipping sauce, and you have an excellent fry experience. They will be soggy though, the grease from their cheese being microwaved & the fact that they were already squishy to begin with isn't a good combo, but you still have the cheese.
4. Arbys Homestyle fries: If you can find them, these are good fries. (the homestyle fry is being phased out in some areas.)Make sure they cook them fresh, or they will be the soggiest experience you ever had.
3. Carl's Jr. New Fries: Their old fries were ok, but the new ones are better.
1. Tie: Iceberg fries & In & Out's off-menu 'extra crispy' fries: I don't want to upset the die-hard worshippers of In & Out, but I do enjoy the Iceberg fries quite a bit.


FYI, a good onion ring also trumps a french fry. If you have to ask why, just buy the fries.